That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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