You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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