This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
