we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
