hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
