Kiss
Puke
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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