people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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