I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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