I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
