someone get that fucking seahorse.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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