I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
