You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
where are my eyebrows?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
