Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
