Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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