Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
