If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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