This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You left your underwear on the fireplace
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize