It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
