I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
