i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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