I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
