Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
