When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
