you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
