So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
its not stalking. its research.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
