WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
