how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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