separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
