he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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