Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
