I wish I only lived at night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
