Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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