how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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