so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
