we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
