Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!