He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
