That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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