why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
