so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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