I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
