Porn is love you can see.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
