After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
