You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
