Is it normal to miss your booty call?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we made out on top of his cat.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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