Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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