What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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