I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
