From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
