Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
