I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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