She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think my vagina is haunted
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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