i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
