come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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