I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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