I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
