Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
