Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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