you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
