I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
