suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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