Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
