I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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