I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just puked most of my soul out..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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