Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
